BY SOFO ARCHON
This is a transcript of a video published here.
Whether you like it or not, there will always be some people who dislike you. So, what’s the best way to deal with them?
In my view, it is to just let them dislike you; to allow them the freedom to have any opinion whatsoever about you.
You see, we often try to please others as a way to control what they think about us. Yet the truth is that, no matter how much we try to please them, we will never be able to meet all their expectations.
But even if we could somehow please some of them, that will only be short-lasting, for people tend to change over time and we cant always know what they expect from us. Hence, it’s pointless trying to please people. And not only pointless, but harmful too. For it means pretending to be someone we are not, and hence emotionally suppressing ourselves. In addition, when we are wearing a personality mask to make others like us, we can’t build genuine relationships, for people can’t really get to know us.
Now, when I’m saying that it’s pointless to try to please people, I don’t mean or imply that you should not be considerate or caring about them. Be friendly, kind, generous and compassionate with others. But know that they might not treat you as you treat them. Know that, despite your best intentions and efforts, they might still dislike, criticize or even judge you.
And remember that not everyone is at the same stage of psychospiritual evolution. Those who are judgmental, for example, have their own deep unresolved emotional issues, which are usually rooted in themselves feeling unloved or disliked. Perhaps you yourself care a lot about others liking you because you deep down don’t like yourself. So, this is something that you might want to look into, and if it’s true, then you might want to engage in psychotherapy or other healing modalities that can help you develop your self-esteem and cultivate self-compassion.
Lastly, keep in mind that, regardless of the reasons someone dislikes you, everyone has the right to think or believe whatever they want. Just like you have. And sometimes their views and opinions can be correct. For example, people might have a good reason for disliking us, if we behave in ways that are harmful or destructive.
So, do pay attention to what others think of you, for they might have something important to teach you. But don’t pretend to be someone else so that they like you. Rather, be honest with others, and those who happen to like you will like you for who you truly are.