BY SOFO ARCHON
In our society, most people don’t seem to spend any time all alone, in silence, doing nothing but enjoying their own presence. They are continuously doing something or being with someone, distracting themselves in all sorts of ways to avoid experiencing a moment of aloneness. So, why exactly is that?
Because they are not at peace with themselves.
Afraid of Ourselves
Ever since we were children, many of us had to go through hardships in life, some of which caused us immense suffering that resulted in emotional wounds. Later on, in order to avoid experiencing any further suffering, many of us tried our best to repress the emotions that are associated with those traumatic events. But no matter how much we repressed them, they are still hidden deep inside our psyche, calling us to pay attention to them all the time. But we choose not to even stop for a moment and focus on them. We are so afraid to come in contact with our emotional world that we try to escape from it in any way possible.
In essence, we are trying to escape from ourselves. Not surprisingly, whenever we happen to find ourselves alone and unoccupied, we quickly start to feel uncomfortable. To avoid that discomfort, we rush to do something that will distract our attention. This is the main reason why so many people watch TV or surf on the Internet for hours upon hours every day. Or why they overwork. Or why they want to be constantly in the presence of others. This also explains why many of us consume sleeping pills before going to bed at night: to avoid confronting the repressed, darker part of our psyche. We are so scared of our very selves that we are constantly dwelling somewhere between keeping our minds occupied and keeping them shut.
The Healing Benefits
of Spending Time Alone
If we don’t face our inner world, we’ll never find peace with ourselves. We’ll always be insecure, anxious, depressed. That’s why, no matter how painful coming in contact with our deeper selves might be, we need to gather courage in our hearts to take a look within. Then our life will be totally transformed, in an incredibly positive way.
Here are some ways spending time alone will improve your life:
- You’ll feel unburdened from toxic, repressed emotions.
- You’ll be more in tune with your emotional world.
- You’ll better understand yourself.
- You’ll make friends with your past.
- You’ll be more mindful of the present moment.
- You’ll be able to make more conscious choices.
- You’ll feel less lonely.
- You’ll be less stressed and more calm.
- You’ll feel less afraid and more secure.
- You’ll be more honest with yourself and others.
- You’ll find peace with yourself and the world.
Learning to Be Alone
To reap all those healing benefits, you need to make some space for yourself. So, every day, make it a habit to spend some time on your own (I’d recommend at least thirty minutes). Go to a quiet room in your house, sit on a chair or lie on your bed, turn off any electronic devices and let the people close to you know that during this time you don’t want to be disturbed.
While all alone, in silence, start paying attention to your sensations, feelings, and thoughts. If you’ve not done this for a long time, chances are that you will soon start feeling uneasy — your body might start shaking a bit, and disturbing thoughts as well as intense emotions might be felt. If this happens, don’t rush to escape from what’s going on, no matter how scary that might seem. Stay there, mindful of anything that you’re experiencing — physically, emotionally and mentally.
As I mentioned already, what most people are afraid of is to encounter their emotional traumas. But when you are all alone, doing nothing but being attentive, it’s natural that repressed memories will jump into your conscious awareness, and it’s very likely that they will awaken a lot of emotions. Those emotions might make you burst into tears and agitate your mind. When, however, all these memories and emotions are brought into the light of consciousness, a healing process starts taking place. The divided mind begins to come together. The darker side of your psyche merges with the brighter one. And through that process, you start experiencing inner harmony. You start feeling physically relaxed, emotionally cleansed and mentally refreshed. You become revitalized, reborn into a healthier state of being.
Then, you will not want to shut yourself from life or be distracted by unimportant things — on the contrary, you’ll be able to experience life to the fullest, without feeling chained to the burdensome fears of your past.